My only daughter Dalaina turns 1 in two weeks. My how fast this past year has gone. After having 2 sons (Carson, 5 and Ben, 3) along came my little princess and internally, a few things changed. I found these four lessons from a fantastic website called The Art of Manliness to be right on the money.
1) Men are born to protect.
Regardless of whether it has gone out of fashion in today’s society, deep in the heart of every man is a desire to protect his loved ones. To make sure that they feel safe when you’re around, like the calming presence of a strong lion protecting the rest of the pride. Though I’m sure that this instinct is there with boys as well, the strong conviction I have to protect my daughter is greater than nearly anything I’ve felt in my life. It isn’t a feeling that has to be worked up, it’s just there, like cement, daring someone to move it.
2) Girls keep a man’s heart from growing too hard.
Perhaps it’s because I went to a military academy, or spent too much time watching “Gladiator,” but I realized after the birth of my daughter that my heart had grown a bit hard. My compassion, patience and grace were all lacking. I firmly believed that “second place was the first loser,” “Pain was just weakness leaving the body,” etc. I had great pride in the discipline and efficiency through which I ran my life and home. These tough-guy attitudes suddenly seemed a bit ridiculous as I would look into the eyes of an innocent little girl content with blowing bubbles, chasing butterflies and eating copious amounts of cheese.
3) Slow Down.
The other day my friend and I were walking to the library with my girl. She just learned to walk a few months ago so she was a bit sporadic. Speeding up, giggling, slowing down, stopping to pick up a stray leaf. As we watched her take in the world around her, my friend commented, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if a walk to the library was this much fun?” I chuckled for a moment, but realized this was one of the true blessings having a small child in my life brought to the table. The reminder to slow down and enjoy the small, seemingly insignificant moments of life. The ones that I had previously tried to fast forward or multi-task my way through.
4) Living for someone else.
Marriage is the first lesson most of us receive in learning to live for someone other than ourselves. And just when we start to think we might have that lesson down, children shatter all our notions of self-righteousness. Waking up at all hours of the night, changing diapers, feeding, cleaning…all these things are necessary parts of raising a healthy child, and they have been pivotal in forcing me to abandon some of my selfish habits. My daughter could care less about my well-thought-out schedule or whether or not I have a flight early the next morning. She continually challenges me to love her regardless of convenience.
2 responses so far ↓
Nathan Schwepler // July 1, 2009 at 5:18 am |
My boys are 6 and 4. My daughter is nearly 2. I had/ am having the same experience. You defined it quite well. Thanks for writing this.
Knight // July 4, 2009 at 4:20 am |
That’s fairly accurate. I have two girls myself (5 and 3). They are about a different as night and day but they’re still girls.